July 31st, 2007

It was an uneventful check in call this morning - the kind I like!

Megan had a good night. She had some residual from her feeding this morning, but she was fine after the nurse put her on her tummy. She does go up and down a bit still with her saturation numbers. They would like to see that stabalize some more before taking her off the vent.

All else is going well. She is still on caffeine and sodium. They have not had to add fortifiers to her breastmilk, yet. They will as soon as she needs that extra boost to gain weight.

Every Tuesday, a team of doctors and specialists go around to all the babies in the NICU. We'll see if they have made any changes for Meggers!

Our visit went okay today. We got there the same time she was having her follow up head scan. First they had a student do the head scan and then it had to be redone / checked by another technician. Megan was not happy at all about it and was pretty agitated. She started to calm down a bit just as we were leaving.

She is still having a few apneas / brady's per day. The nurse said it is very normal for her age, but we still don't like to see them. I read that preemies tend to grow out of the "a's and b's" anywhere from 32-36 weeks. We asked if her feedings were going to be increased since she has been at 14 cc every 2 hours for the past couple days, but the nurse said she is at a full feeding for her age.

Her current weight is 2 lbs 8.7 oz - big girl! She is nearly a pound heavier than her lowest weight which was 1 lb 10 oz.

July 30th, 2007

Megan does have a crazy sister, Molly, that she has to deal with. For those of you fortunate folks that are not familiar with Molly, that is our 9 month old black lab. As I am writing my blog this morning, she is ripping all of the stuffing out of her bed and trying to bury it in my living room. Megan is a little familiar with Molly. I'm sure she heard Molly barking while she was in Mommy's belly. In fact, we joke that is why she came out early kicking and punching...she was ready to fight the dog!

Megan had a good night. Her oxygen level is about 25 which is great and we'll see if Dr. Omar will decrease her settings even more. The nurse said that she hadn't worked with Megan since before she was on the oscillator and she can definitely see her getting bigger! She said that she looks like Mommy :)

They did have to retape her feeding tube to her vent this morning because Megan tried to rip that off. I did get some clarification on what she does to pull her vent tube. She doesn't pull out the entire apparatus, just the small tube that is taped onto it. She has such small fingers that she can get a good hold on that tiny tube (about the size of a piece of yarn) and pull it out.

She had 3 poopy diapers overnight which means she won't need a suppository today - whew! It is a standing order in the NICU for the babies to get a suppository every 48 hours unless they poop on their own. There was not blood in her stool and it was green / yellow (normal for babies I guess, but remember I still haven't seen her poopy diaper!) She did have a blood gas test this morning, but it wasn't back yet. We were anxious to check her red blood cell count to make sure it went up from her transfusion.

Our visit with Megan went very well! She is now 2 lbs 6 oz and is 36 cm long! She was peacefully resting on her belly. Both Bob and I stroked her tiny head and she really liked it. Her feedings are going great and the nurse said she had a huge poop today that tested negative for any blood which is great!

Her vent settings were turned down again today. She is expected to change to a CPAP very soon. It just goes in her nose instead of her throat which would be great!

The nurse said that we start some bottle feedings around 32 weeks. At that time she will also nuzzle with me to prepare for nursing. That is only a couple weeks away!! Her red blood cell count was great and her blood gas was excellent.

The nurse said that earlier she was resting her elbow on the vent tube. She would press down to make her numbers crazy and let go when the nurse came over. I am certainly convinced that I have passed on my need for attention to my daughter!

She is doing so well - Bob and I couldn't be more proud of her!!

July 29th, 2007



Megan must have known that I was telling everything that she was having a good day and decided to get some more attention..


When I called last night, the nurse was in the process of re-intubating her because she pulled out her vent tube. They were just going to leave it out, but she was having some digestive problems at the same time. She was constipated yesterday and got a small tear in her rectum. ( I know in 20 years she will be so mad at me for writing that!) Anyway, the nurse believes that is what is causing a small streak of blood in her stool. They are still watching it to be sure, though. Her abdomen was also a little enlarged and loopy again. However, by the time I called again at 2:30am, that had gone down and she was doing better with her feedings.



They didn't alter her feedings at all which is good. By this morning, she was doing well and getting no residual from her feedings. She was just constipated. Her abdomen is doing fine and is soft. She still has a small streak of blood in her stool, but it is now barely showing positive.



Her oxygen was back down to 30 and we hope to see that continue to decrease throughout the day. I guess she just wants to give Mommy and Daddy a few more gray hairs!



We are going to see her around 2pm, so we'll see how she is doing!

Our visit went pretty well with Megan. Just before we got there, they removed her PICC line from her arm, so she was still a bit mad about that. She had also just gotten her 2pm feeding which was going well.

Her machine did go off quite a bit while we were there. The nurse showed me how she liked to have her head rubbed. It was nice that Bob and I could do that to soothe her. She looked great and very comfortable. Her feedings are up to 14cc every 2 hours. She is now eating over 2 bottles a day!

They still feel that her progress is good!

July 28th, 2007

Megan had a great night! The nurse said that she is "as cute as ever!" (Naturally!!)

She has been stable with her stats, tolerating her feedings well and maintaining body temperature. We are so proud of her! Her oxygen level is at about 23-24 which is great. I think we are getting closer and closer to getting her off the ventilator!

She is at 10 cc every 2 hours - that's 120 cc or 3 oz a day - what a big girl! I don't know yet if she gained or lost weight, so we'll find out on our visit.

Today turned out to be the best day EVER! I got a call from the hospital around noon saying that if I came in around 3:30pm, that I could hold Megan!!! She was getting her blood transfusion at noon and that had to go through for 2 hours.

The nurse said that they expect to take out her PICC line in a day or two. She also said that if Megan would pull our her vent tube, they would leave it out and just do a CPAP which is just prongs in her nose. They would keep her air sacs open. She is making such awesome progress!

They said her weight was 1145 grams or 2 lbs 8 oz. That number is a little skewed because she just had her blood transfusion, though. She will probably lose some weight tomorrow.

The experience of holding her was incredible. She was so warm against my skin for such a small little girl. I could hold her little butt in the palm of my hand. Her hands and fingers would move across my chest and she even pinched me! She was soothed by the sound of my voice and the nurse said that she maintained her body temperature on me better than in her bed. At first she seemed to light and small, but after an hour and a half she felt like she weighed 20 lbs!

Bob sat next to me while I held our daughter. We both talked to her and told her how much we loved her. He took her temperature a couple times while I held her to make sure she was warm enough. I could tell he was very cautious when moving her tiny arm! It was so nice for the three of us to sit there as a family!

The nurse said that I will hold her a couple times a week. Once she is off her ventilator and maintaining her temperature, Bob can hold her as well. I know that will just be the best thing in the world to him!

July 27th, 2007

We have reached to 1000 gram club! Megan weighs 1029 grams or 2 lbs 4 oz. It's funny to think that the 5 lbs most women struggle with on a daily basis is more than twice Megan's body weight. Bob gave blood...I would certainly be willing to donate some fat cells :)

She had a great night. The nurse said that she is getting a little more stable on her saturation each day. They turned down the settings a little more on her ventilator and she's tolerating that well. However, when I called I could hear her machine beeping in the background and the nurse said she new her Mommy was on the phone. Ha! Her blood gas test this morning was excellent.

She is still tolerating her feedings well. I'm anxious to see if they have added fortifiers to her breastmilk today.

I cleaned out her nursery this morning - next step is paint! Too bad I didn't realize earlier that 75% of the stuff I was storing in that room was junk!

Great visit with Meggers today! She was much more stable on her saturation rate and didn't beep once while we were in there. They took off the heart sticker that would maintain her temperature and she was doing very well on her own. She is no longer on Lipids or TPN since she is doing well with the breast milk. She is also getting fortifiers today, so she should be gaining weight!!

Her settings on the ventilator were turned down. Yesterday the machine was set to deliver 27 "breaths" per minute to Megan and today it was turned down to 18. She looked so cute in her HUGE pampers preemie swaddler diaper.

We were telling her all about what we are doing with her nursery and the plans for her baby shower. She opened her eyes wide open, so I think she was very exicted. I told her it was going to be decorated in frogs - green and yellow - she seemed to approve :)

July 26th, 2007

Last night, Megan graduated to a different isolette. She was in the "giraffe" isolette which is used for the smallest babies so the nurses can have the easiest access to the babies. Now they needed to free it up for another small baby. Imagine that - a baby smaller than Megan. I hope that baby has the strength and good fortune that Megan has had. I would imagine that now Megan has the same feeling as when you are not the newest employee anymore :)

She has been doing well. Her feedings have been going well which is a relief to me. She goes up and down with how much oxygen she needs from her ventilator, but the nurse said that was normal. I am going to ask today how they know when a baby is ready to wean off the ventilator.

She has also graduated in diaper size, but not because of her size.... She is now in the newborn swaddler because she pees so much :) However, the diaper has a lot of gaps in it, so I think she can still manage to pee the bed!

Our visit went well. The nurse said that in order for Megan to start to wean off the ventilator, two things would have to happen. One, she would have to maintain her "saturation" level on her monitor. This is the number that needs to stay between 85 and 95. It tells the nurse if she needs to turn the oxygen level up or down. Two, she would have to have several good blood gas tests. Right now hers are okay, but her CO2 levels are a little higher than what they are looking for. The nurse said that is normal for her gestational age, though.

The good news is that the settings on her vent are very low and she is doing a lot of work on her own. They have been turning it down a little each day which causes Megan to have to adjust to that and work more on her own. That is why her saturation levels still go up and down.

Her new isolette is pretty nice and is in the same spot that she has been in. She now has a red blanket that covers the isolette to keep light out. It's not as cute as the giraffes :)

Her feedings have been increased to 8.5 cc every 2 hours and will go up to 9 cc every 2 hours tonight. Tomorrow they expect to increase to 10 cc every 2 hours and also add a fortifier to her milk to add calories. She will be eating 3 oz of breastmilk per day! That is a long way from the 2 cc every 6 hours that she started with :)

July 25th, 2007

Happy 3 week birthday, Megan!!!

I cannot believe that it has been 3 weeks! Megan is getting so big! Last night she weighed in at 2 lbs, 3 oz which is the perfect weight gain.

Last night we got news that she was being switched back to the conventional ventilator. Most of the day yesterday, she was fighting the high frequency ventilator and trying to breathe on her own. Once she was switched back, the nurse said she loved it! She was soon breathing 10-20 times above the ventilator which is great! She also had the best blood gas test that she has had in a week. We are really hoping this is the step before she can start getting off the vent!

She also had a great night, just resting. Today they will either increase her feedings, or add fortifiers to the breast milk that will just add calories. That way she can grow and grow!

Today she is 28 week gestational age. Preemies are typically discharged from the hospital at 35-36 gestational age, depending on their breathing, eating, etc. I just get excited every day because I know we are closer and closer to having our baby girl at home!





We got a new picture on our visit! It is sooo cute!

Megan was doing great. She seems to like this ventilator better than the other one. I got to hold her hand again and talk to her. She even opened her eyes while we were there! The doctor increased her feedings, but changed the frequency. She gets 8cc every 2 hours which allows the nurses to suction her more often to keep her lungs and mouth clear of mucus. That will help her breathe easier and start the process of getting her off the vent.

Since her antibiotics are done, they started to back on the caffeine - still as a preventative measure against apneas and bradycardias. Tomorrow they expect to stop her TPN IV since she is getting enough from the breastmilk. The TPN was a nutrition IV that gave her different vitamins and electrolytes.

I am very excited to hear her weight tonight - she is only 10 grams away from hitting 1000 grams! :)

July 24th, 2007

Well, my OB GYN called yesterday to remind me that I have a sonogram / prenatal appointment tomorrow morning. I had to call and remind them that they can do a sonogram, but I doubt that they would see anything! (At least I hope not!) Not quite the sharpest tools in the shed!

We had a great visit today with Megan and she got to visit with Grandma Foster. Again, she looked so great! Her feedings are going well. She is at 10 cc every 3 hours. Her carbon dioxide was slightly elevated on her blood gas this morning, but was already down 2 hours later.

She did get another chest xray today to follow up on her pneumonia. They said her lungs are pretty clear. They were a little over extended, so they were adjusting the settings on the ventilator so her lungs could deflate a bit. Overall, they were happy with the xray and her progress.

Megan gave the morning nurse some trouble because she peed through her diaper and all over her bed :) That reminds me to put a waterproof mattress cover on the registry!! They are decreasing her IV since she is eating more breastmilk.

Today I touched her foot and leg on our visit. I constantly wonder if she will know who her parents are. We make sure to talk to her every day and touch her whenever we can. I'm sure once we can hold her on a daily basis, we will be able to bond with her. It's so strange that my daughter is almost 3 weeks old and I haven't held her yet. It's not exactly how I pictured the birth of my baby, but now I don't care what we have to go through, I just want to bring my girl home!

July 23rd, 2007

Last night they weighed Megan accurately by temporarily taking her off the ventilator. She weighs 2 lbs and 1.9 oz! I am so glad that she didn't lose much weight from being off her feedings and is still in the 2 lb club!

The nurse said that she did great with her oxygen - still in the 20's and most of the time at 21 (no extra oxygen). She slept well and is dirtying diapers with the best of them.

All is going well with her feedings. I am nervous about her getting back up to 10 cc and I hope she will be able to tolerate it. She is going to 7 cc today every 3 hours.

Our visit went well and we got a new picture! Now I can definitely see those big blue eyes! We spoke with Dr. Omar. He said that she is doing well and now we just wait for her to grow. They will watch her closely over the next couple days because today is the last day of her antibiotic for pneumonia. The will only repeat her culture if she shows any symptoms. They are probably going to give her another blood transfusion b/c they took a lot of blood over the past week for her blood gas tests. He said she won't need much, though. Her feedings are actually being increased to 8 cc every three hours.

They have these tiny preemie booties in her isolette that they had on her feet earlier. They are pink and say "cutie" on the bottom. I will have to get a picture of them! She looked like she was comfortable and resting which is great b/c we want her to get big and strong!

The Breastmilk Post

I decided that the breastmilk has earned its own post. Bob and I finally transferred to breastmilk to the new chest freezer today. We counted 199 bottles. Yes, nearly 200 bottles of breastmilk made in 15 days.


Sorry that you may have to crane your neck to the side. I obviously have not figured out how to flip the picture yet. As you can see, the bottles took up 4 shelves.


















I do have to post a picture of my husband's ingenious design to fit as many bottles in the bag while keeping it flat. That's what I get for marrying an engineer :) In case anyone needs the plan, the blueprints are available for a small fee...






And finally, all the bagged bottles before they were transferred to the freezer! Fortunately, there is still plenty of room in the chest freezer. Something tells me that we are going to need it!

July 22nd, 2007

Megan had a good night last night and slept well. I'm hoping these sleeping patterns continue when she comes home :)

Her blood gas tests have been good, so she now only gets one per day. That makes Mommy happy because they had to prick her little heel each time!

She had a good poopy diaper this morning! She hadn't had one since they took her off the feedings. She must have known that they were going to give her a suppository today if she didn't :)

We are going in to visit her very shortly, so I'll add more later...

Megan looked great on our visit! Her color looks good and I can see her face filling out a bit - starting to get those chubby cheeks! She looked so comfortable, except that she was pulling her diaper off.

The nurse turned off her oxygen. Although she is still on the ventilator, she is breathing the same air we are which is 21% oxygen. They are going to keep her on the high frequency ventilator until she doesn't need one anymore. The dr. said it is gentler on her lungs plus she seems to like it. She is doing so well and Mommy and Daddy are so proud! She is doing well with her feedings and is up to 6 cc every 3 hours. They are still watching her closely for any swelling in her abdomen, but so far, so good. Unfortunately, we can't get an accurate weight when she is on this ventilator. We'll just have to wait until she no longer needs the vent!

The nurse even said she was sucking her thumb! She would squeeze her thumb under the vent tube so she could suck her thumb. Like mother, like daughter. Hopefully she will stop before she is 8 unlike someone else I know...

I am really excited about her progress and hope she just continues to do well and grow over the next 8 weeks!

July 21st, 2007

Well, not too much to report today, but I guess that's a good thing! Megan had a good night. She rested comfortably and did well with her ventilator. She has been tolerating her feedings, so they are increasing her to 4cc every 3 hours.

Now the nurse asked me to fill some bottles only to the halfway mark so they aren't wasting any breast milk. I figure they can go ahead and waste some so I can give them some more bottles! I tried to explain to her that if I would fill the bottles to only the halfway mark, I would fill 40 of their bottles per day. That would mean that I would use over 2200 bottles before Megan would come home!

We also had a good visit with Meggers. I got to take her temperature. I had to lift her little arm and take her temp in her armpit. I thought I would break her arm! She is actually pretty strong and was pulling her arm from me. The nurse said she never likes to have her temp taken :) We were there as the nurse gave her the breast milk, which is just through her IV. She also changed her diaper and suctioned any mucus from her lungs. She said that she is getting less and less mucus from the suctioning which is good. After all that, she put Megan on her stomach so she could rest.

We finally have the chest freezer hooked up. It is cooling down and we are planning on filling it with bottles tonight. Now my freezer will look empty!

July 20th, 2007

Good check in this morning! The nurse (whose name is also Megan) said that our Megan had a very good night. She did well with her oxygen levels, staying at 28-30 throughout the night. She weighed in at 950 grams which is still about 2 lbs 2 oz. She only had a loss of 20 grams which is good considering that she was off feedings for 24 hours. She had a blood gas test at 6am which was good - normal levels.

She has not had any more problems with her abdomen, so they are resuming feedings today. Of course, they will be watching her closely to make sure there is no swelling.

The nurse did get a picture of her last night when she had her eyes open. She said that Megan was on her belly, so I'll be excited to see the picture! Megan is so adorable when she sleeps on her belly. I see there is a way to add an image on the blog, so I'll try to figure that out this afternoon.



Here is our new picture!! She is on her belly which is her favorite position! I can definitely see her big blue eyes! I couldn't figure out how to flip it though. She was so great on our visit. The nurse said that her lungs sound good and her abdomen xray this morning was fine.


She is starting feedings again, slowly. She is on 4cc every 4 hours. I'm hoping they will take it a little slower this time so my peanut doesn't get gas.

She is doing well on her ventilator and has been at about 25 all morning which is great! I still don't know when she will go back on the regular ventilator, but I bet she will wean off of it soon. They did adjust some of her settings down this morning which is good.


That was about all that she had to report. We got to touch her today - I touched her leg and her hand :) She was laying on her right side and looked very comfortable.


Today I am overwhelmingly (is that a word?) excited for when she comes home! We still don't have anything ready for her, but I can't wait for her to come home! I guess I'll have to add a cot to our nursery furniture, so I can sleep with her when she comes home :)

July 19th, 2007

Well, slight scare last night. We called in before bed and found out that Megan's abdomen was slightly distended. That means that her intestines were swollen. They did an abdomen xray which was fine and also tested her stool which was fine. They were making sure they didn't see signs of NEC which is a digestive disease that affects about 5% of preemies.

Of course, hearing that news about 10:30 at night really took the wind out of our sails after such a good day. I called this morning at 4:30 am after pumping and they said she was doing better and the swelling has gone down. They will, however, hold her feedings now for several days. She is still getting her IV's for nutrients.

I called at 9:30 am and her second abdomen xray was also fine. The swelling has completely gone down. They think they just increased her feedings a little too quickly. The nurse said that otherwise she is doing well. Her oxygen settings are going down. Last night she was at 30 at the highest and spent most of the time in the 20's which is great. Her vitals / stats have been great and she's just resting. The nurse said that when she was with Megan this morning, Megan had her eyes wide open and was very alert.

The doctor was doing his rounds when I called, so we should find out a little later if they decided to change anything.

I also had a disaster in the middle of the night. I went to the freezer to put the bottles in and the inevitable happened....about 30 frozen bottles came crashing down on me. Poor Bob came running down the stairs to find me desperately trying to keep those dang bottles in the fridge while uncontrollably sobbing. I could be the poster girl for post-pregnancy hormones. My knight in shining armor took care of getting all the bottles put in the freezer and washed the bottles for my pump so I could go back to bed. Only one more day until our freezer comes....

Our visit went okay today. The nurse said that Megan was doing well. Her stomach is all better. She said it was a combo of too much too fast and gas. They expect to resume feedings tomorrow or the day after. She has been doing well with her oxygen settings. The nurse said that Megan is showing many good signs such as moving around, opening her eyes and fighting the nurses. Megan is now notorious for getting mad when the nurses try to move her around.

Her heart rate was pretty high when we were in. I was very worried, but the nurse said she was just agitated at the time. It is just very difficult not to worry when her machine keeps beeping.

We did get to touch her head today. It is soo tiny! Her hair is so soft that you almost can't feel it. When we touch her, it has to be a solid touch. We can't caress her or rub her head b/c that would irritate her and send her heartrate up. She held Bob's finger again today and squeezed his finger. She even tried to pull it a bit! She is certainly a strong little girl (we will have to remember that!)

July 18th, 2007

Happy 2 week birthday, Megan!

I cannot believe that it has been two weeks already! That is encouraging to me that the next 8 weeks may not go as slow as I thought. Mostly because I have a lot of work to do in 8 weeks :)

My morning check in was good. There wasn't much to report. Megan did well on her ventilator overnight and stayed at 30%. I don't know what level she should be at right now, but she was up to 60% only 4 days ago. Her feedings are still going well and her blood gas was good. Mostly, she was just hanging out!

Diane is her nurse today (one of my favorites!) Dr. Voora will be in about mid-morning, so they will see if he wants to make any changes. I would be thrilled if they think she can go back on the nasal ventilator. That would be just one step closer to getting off the ventilator! According to hospital records, she is 27 weeks today (even though according to her Mom, she was 27 weeks this past Saturday).

Today I am going to contact Dr. Voora's pediatric office to see if there is anything I need to do to have her enrolled as a patient. I am thrilled that she can continue with Dr. Voora and Dr. Omar as her pediatricians! They know her so well already.

Our visit with Megan went well. She is up to 12 cc of breastmilk every 3 hours! She is going to be packing on the grams :) They adjusted some of her ventilator settings down, so she is certainly moving in the right direction. They are confident that the antibiotics are taking care of the infection. Another culture will be done in a few days just to make sure it is negative. They do have her on lasik (sp?) for three days to help dispel the fluid from her lungs. The nurse said that we may see her lose some weight while she gets rid of the rest of the fluids before consistently gaining weight. However, she won't lose much because she doesn't look puffy at all.

She looked great! Megan has a reputation in the NICU for being quite the wiggle worm! She's just like her Mom, can't sit still! Her color looks great and I can certainly tell she is starting to fill out. She looked like she was resting comfortably!

I get more and more confident each day that I will be bringing my baby home. She also has two angel siblings that I'm sure are with her every moment from our two previous losses in Nov 2005 and Mar 2006. I have always been a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason." Bob and I always said that we would like two kids. If the first two pregnancies resulted in full term babies, we would never have met Megan. That tells me that my little miracle baby is here for a reason and she will be coming home with me.

July 17th, 2007

This morning Megan got her chest xray. I am very anxious to hear the results and having mixed feelings on what I expect it to be.

Her carbon dioxide levels were elevated for two of her blood gas tests last night, but were back down by her 10pm blood gas. I was searching all over google to find out what causes high co2 levels and what the risks are. I couldn't find anything. I did read in our Preemie book that the blood gas evaluates her "transfer of gases" and helps the nurses adjust her ventilator. Bob and I figured that although we obviously want her to keep her co2 levels down, high co2 levels are just part of the first few weeks as her lungs mature. I read that we shouldn't expect her lungs to fully mature until 28-32 weeks. Right now she is 27 weeks.

She is still taking her feedings well and will be bumped up to 9cc today if she continues to do well. The nurses said that she is doing well.

It seems like forever until we can bring Megan home. Some days I think it will be here before we know it and sometimes I just want to crawl into a box for the next 2 months. I want so much to be by her side 24/7 for the next 2 months, but there is not much I can do. That is the part that is killing me. I am so glad that I can provide her with breastmilk which is so valuable for her. Right now, when we visit her, all we can do is stand by her isolette and look in. I can't wait for when we can hold her and interact with her so that she could know how much we love her.

We had a great visit with Megan today! Her chest xray came back and showed improvements from her last one which is great. They have decided that the antibiotics are working and she probably won't get another xray unless they think it is getting worse. Great news! The infection that she had was a respiratory infection similar to pnemonia. Her blood gas tests today were all at normal levels.

They had her situated on her stomach today and she was so adorable! It reminded me of how I see a lot of toddlers sleep on their stomach with their butt up in the air. That is how she was laying. The nurse said she really likes it and was very comfortable.

The nurse also let Bob and I touch her today. We each got to put our finger into her tiny hand. It was the most incredible feeling. While she was gripping my finger, I told her that I was her Mommy and I loved her very much. As I talked to her she squeezed my finger with her little hand. I like to think that she was telling me that she knew who I was! It was also so precious to see her little hand on her Daddy's finger and she was rubbing her thumb up and down his finger.

She is now 2 lbs and 2 oz!!! My little button is getting so big! :) She is doing so well with her feedings and will be back up to 10 cc every 3 hours tomorrow. I am so excited to watch her grow! She is also doing well on her ventilator and is back down in the 30 range.

I do want to take a sec to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. We know that it is all helping our little Megan on this difficult journey. Bob and I are so grateful for the support and we find it difficult to even find the words to express how thankful we are. It is so encouraging to know we have so many family and friends behind us and rooting for Megan. THANK YOU!

July 16th, 2007

Here we go with another week...

I had a positive check in this morning. The nurse said that the dr. was pleased with the improvements on the xray yesterday. They had her ventilator down to 30 and she was doing well. She is tolerating her feedings well and will be up to 8cc every 3 hours today. Other than that, the nurse said that she has just been hanging out.

She has her next chest xray tomorrow morning. They are going to give her some time today to just relax and we hope to see clear lungs tomorrow!

I can't remember if I gave the final update on the freezer situation. Well, we ordered one from Sears since nobody had them in stock and it won't be here until Friday. We now have 3 shelves of breast milk and I'm sure it will be at least 4 shelves before the end of the week. FYI - our freezer has 5 shelves, so that will give you an idea as to why we won't be buying any frozen food this week :)

As for me, I am still not 100% after the c-section. Now I can't believe that I was actually happy about having a c-section before. It is getting much better. However, all those who know me well, know that spending most of the day in bed is driving me bonkers! I should be cleaning, walking the dog and preparing my house for Megan to come home! I figure that by the time I'm feeling 100%, we will only have about 6-7 weeks until my girl comes home. That is NOT enough time! :) Although I would gladly bring her home today!!

July 15th, 2007

I'm hoping that we are now starting on the up side of this roller coaster. Megan had a pretty good night last night. Her blood gas was much better this morning and she is taking her feedings with no problems. She is still have normal dirty diapers and is doing pretty well.

She will be having another chest x ray this morning, so I am VERY anxious to hear the results. The nurse said it should be sometime before 10am, so I told her I would call around 10:30am.

I am now pretty certain that she got this lung infection from when she pulled out her ventilator the other day and they had to reintubate her. (thanks to Kristin for thinking of that!) That was then she had stopped her steady decline off the ventilator. We'll see after the chest x ray how it is clearing up.

Megan got her chest xray done. She still has some mucus in the top lobe of her right lung. The nurse said that it is good that it has not gotten worse and they will be working today to clear up the rest of that mucus. She is taking her antibiotics well and is still doing well with her feedings.

The nurse did have her ventilator down to 29 which is great, but she said Megan was "drifting". That is when her stats would be great for a few minutes and then her machine would beep. The nurse just increased her oxygen to 40. She said today they will just meet Megan's needs as the antibiotics do their thing. Bob and I are going over shortly to see her. She will be on the antibiotics for 7 days, so we will be patient to recover. I did read that infections are not uncommon in preemies and most infections will just clear up with antibiotics.

Bob and I went in to visit Megan. Looking at her, you wouldn't think she was fighting off an infection. Instead she was sprawled out snoozing. I did notice that her belly button thing fell off. She has such a cute belly button that is about as big as the eraser on a pencil maybe even smaller.

The nurse said that she has been doing pretty well today, just resting. Her blood gas tests are looking good. They probably won't do another chest x ray until later tonight or tomorrow. She is still taking her feedings well and is now at 6cc every 3 hours.

She opened her eyes while we were there and looked right at us. It was so cute! While we were there the nurse had to turn down her ventilator to 29 which shows she is doing more breathing on her own. She is still on the oscillator (high frequency ventilator). Although she is on the antibiotics for a total of 7 days, she probably won't be on the oscillator for that long. She will switch back to the regular ventilator once Dr. Voora is comfortable with her CO2 levels from her blood gas tests.

Bob went out to find a freezer, but of course nobody has one in stock. He is ordering one from Sears that will be here Friday. We are going to have to get creative with how to store it in our freezer :) I guess we can't buy any frozen food this week until we get the new freezer. There are now well over 100 bottles in our freezer taking up 3 shelves.

July 14th, 2007

Well, I didn't get the 100% happy news at the morning check in that I would like.

Her blood gas test came back showing high levels of carbon dioxide. To treat that, she is going on a high frequency ventilator or an oscillator. It will make her breathe very rapidly to release the carbon dioxide. It also will vibrate her and help to break up the remaining mucus from her right lung. I did read about it and it said that it is more gentle on the lungs than the regular ventilator and can sometimes be soothing. Apparently it is not soothing to Megan, though. They are giving her something to sedate or relax her because she won't stop moving.

On the positive side, they did another chest xray and it looked much better than the one yesterday, so the mucus is breaking up.

They will do frequent blood gas tests to monitor her CO2 levels. They have stopped her breastmilk feedings for now so that they don't stress her out.

Update - the hospital called the house. Yes, I just about had a heart attack, but it was for good news. They just did a blood gas test and it was much better. The ventilator is working and her CO2 levels are going down. They are going to give her a small feeding of 4cc every 4 hours to start her off slow since she had a stressful morning. I was very happy to hear good news! I'll keep checking in throughout the day and we are going to see her this afternoon. She will be able to meet her Great Aunt Del today! (Del - I'm sure you just love the sound of "Great Aunt" hee hee)


We did find out that she has an infection, so they have put her on the correct antibiotics. Of course, any infection or bacteria in an infant this young can be critical, so I am very worried. However, Dr. Voora did say that it is an excellent sign that her blood pressure and vitals are stable and the bacteria is not in her blood. He said that he thought she would bounce back soon.

We just called to check on her. Her most recent blood gas was good. They won't be making any changes until tomorrow, but her CO2 levels re dropping which is good. She is also taking her feedings well and they expect to increase her feedings to 5 ccs at midnight.

It's amazing how much can happen in one day. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a better day for my little peanut...

July 13th, 2007

Friday the 13th - ahhh! I'll have to remind Megan to stay away from black cats today...

Well, she definitely got some genes from me because she gained 30 grams! She is up to 880 grams and just shy of 2 lbs! The nurse said that she is doing great with her feedings and has no problem with her peeing and pooping.

He said that they did lower her ventilator to 32 overnight, but she didn't like it. They had to bump it up. I have read that they sometimes give another steroid treatment to help develop her lungs again. Unfortunately, we only had enough time to get me one steroid shot 24 hours before she was born. Also, it is not uncommon for a baby as young as her to need assistance from the ventilator for at least a few weeks or until they reach 1000 grams.

We are brainstorming about how to get more bottles for storing her milk from the hospital. The nurse yesterday was so excited to give us 16 bottles and thought we would be all set for a while. I didn't want to burst her bubble and tell her that would only last us for about one day!

Bob and I went to visit Megan in the early afternoon. I guess you could say that this is one of our "down" days. They have been having to increase her ventilator, so they did a chest x ray. She has a lot of gunk in her right lung. They took some cultures to have it tested for any bacteria and already started her on antibiotics as a precaution. They said that they will do a Chest P.T. on her. This is a vibration procedure to break up that mucus / gunk in her lung and suction it out. The nurse said it is very common, but of course I am worried about it. Her ventilator was turned up to 60 when we were there :( They did decrease her breastmilk to 8cc just so they don't stress her out.

We did call in soon after our visit. They have already decreased her ventilator to 50 and she was doing fine. The nurse said that we should hear about the culture tomorrow, but they don't expect to find anything. They will just break it up, suction it out and we should see improvements.

On the plus side, she still looked very good when we saw her. Her color is great and I can already see her filling out. Her skin is smoother and those adorable cheeks are getting fuller. The true test will be when we can see her baby butt :)

We also got her birth certificate in the mail today! It was so nice to receive something with her name on it - Megan Lyn Foster. Soon to follow will be her social security card!

July 12th, 2007

Another beautiful day in Erie, yet I'm still stuck in bed :( I was hoping to dye the grays out of my hair (yes, 26 and I have many gray hairs). However, I read on the Internet that I still have crazy hormones that could cause the dye to turn my hair orange or something crazy. Instead, I may just opt for a hair cut.

I had a great check in this morning! I spoke with Danielle, who has been Megan's nurse a couple times. She said that Megan had a good night. She just rested and her numbers were great. They kept her ventilator at 30 which is very good. The nurse told us that the last couple days they would turn it up while she slept. The ventilator basically assists her with breathing by giving her a set number of breaths per hour. The past couple of days, Megan has been letting the ventilator do most of the work while she slept and then she would do the work on her own when awake. That was actually a good thing because she needed some rest after all the testing and such she had last week. I read that typically a preemie's lungs are not quite ready to breathe without assistance until they are about 1000 grams.

Speaking of grams - Megan gained 20 grams today! YAY! That is right within the 15-30 range that she should be gaining. So she is now about 850 grams I believe. I'll check her chart when we go in.

The nurse said that they have all been impressed with how well that she is doing and that we should be very proud of her - which we are so proud of her! That's our girl!! Bob and I are going to go in this morning and hope to meet her other neonatalogist, Dr. Voora. Tonight, we are attending the preemie seminar at the hospital that will cover how to feel close to our baby, coping with the stress of having an infant in ICU, etc.

We had a great visit with Megan! She was once again just hanging out and sleeping. It was so cute because she had her left arm stretched above her head and her right hand curled around her diaper. Her color looks great and her face is filling out a bit. It's so nice to see her without the face mask on from the lamp. I can see her perfect nose, perfect ears, eyes and mouth. She opened her eyes a bit to look at Bob and I. I'm sure she knew she was looking at her Mommy and Daddy!

She is being increased to 10 cc every 3 hours of breast milk and she is taking it very well. Because she is doing so well with the breast milk, they are decreasing the amount of one of her IVs.

The doctor gave her caffeine today. It's a preventative treatment to prevent apneas and help with her breathing. They said that that once she is further along, they will wean her off the medication.

We went to the preemie seminar. She went over some information that was on the March of Dimes website. We also talked about pumping, storing breast milk, development of preemies, services available for preemies, choosing a pediatrician, some guidelines for when bringing her home, certain precautions we need to take when she comes home, etc. It was also very helpful just to talk about how things are going so far.

Some of the upcoming topics for the group are on breastfeeding and development of a preemie. I am looking forward to both. She also let us know about some of the different people that we will meet with over the next few months. There is so much support available for parents of preemies!!

That is pretty much it for today. I did a lot today, so I'm going to try to just relax tonight.

July 11th, 2007

Happy 1 week birthday Megan!!

I made my morning call to my little girl. They said that she had a good night and rested well. She did lose a little weight today which is actually good. That just verifies that she didn't have any fluid retention from her big weight gain yesterday. Most of that 100 grams from yesterday was from her blood transfusion.

She is still eating all of the breast milk which is a wonderful sign. Although, she has a lot to go before she even dents our supply of breast milk. We now have over 40 bottles in the freezer and I have only been home pumping since Sunday! Bob and I may have to buy a new freezer just to store all the breast milk.

Right before I called, the nurse changed her poopy diaper :) Her blood gas test was good, so they expect to decrease her ventilator again today. The nurse also said that she has been very active this morning. She opened her eyes almost everytime the nurse went over and looked right at her.

Today I am going to Babies R Us to get Megan a present for her 1st week birthday. I plan to buy her a little something every week. On the 10th week, I will buy the outfit that she will come home in :)

We got to see our little peanut in the afternoon. The nurse did let us know that she had a bradycardia or an episode of a low heartbeat this morning. However, she was able to recover on her own. The nurse explained that they are very common and we should expect her to have a few more over the next couple weeks. I read that we will become very familiar with the A's and B's which are apneas and bradycardias. An apnea is a pause in breathing and a bradycardia is a period of a slow heartbeat. It is very common because of her immature breathing system.

Her breast milk intake was increased again to 7cc every 3 hours. On the last feeding, she did have 2cc residual that she didn't eat, so the nurse just gave it back to her and gave her 5cc. She said that it wasn't something to be concerned about, she just may not have been ready for more food yet. When I called back later in the evening, she only had 1cc residual and the nurse was able to give her the full 7cc. She said that if she is able to tolerate the next two feedings, she will be upped to 8cc every 3 hours.

The nurse did tell us that Megan was the best behaved baby in the NICU today. :) She said that she just left Megan alone most of the day so she could rest and build her strength. I asked how long she would be on the ventilator. She said that it really depends on the baby. A 25 weeker, like Megan, could be on for 2-4 weeks. I am so anxious for her to be off the ventilator!

Luckily, Megan doesn't have any big tests coming up like head sonograms, so she should be able to get her rest and concentrate on getting stronger.

Other little things were that her blood sugar levels are good and her color was great!

I did buy her 1 week birthday present. It was an adorable preemie outfit from Babies R Us. It's yellow and says "D is for Duckie". :) I think she'll like it!

Well, that's about it for today.

July 10th, 2007

Megan will be 6 days old today!

I called this morning to see how she did overnight. She had a good night. She has continued to have poopy diapers and is peeing very well...(strange the things you get excited about as a Mom).

Our only slight concern today is that she may have gained too much. She gained 100 grams which is about 3 oz. At first I thought that was a good thing, but the nurse said that it's above what they expect preemies to gain. She did say that they did expect some weight gain, though, due to her blood transfusion. The concern could be if she is retaining fluids. I did call back to talk to her morning nurse. She said that they believe it was due to her transfusion, but they will know for sure once the doctor comes in.

The morning nurse had just fininshed working on Megan - changing diaper, taking temp, etc. She said that she is doing very well. She opened her eyes and looked right at the nurse! They are also increasing her breast milk to 5cc every 3 hours. She got her first dose at 8am, so we'll see if she takes all of it well.

I made the mistake of doing a little Internet searching today. They should make parents of preemies sign a paper that they will not go on the Internet. There is a mix of good and bad stories on there. I'm just going to always remember that this is my little girl and she is a fighter!! I am once again banning myself from google searches unless it's to discover a specific fact. It's still early, so I expect to post more updates on this page throughout the day.

Bob and I went to visit Megan in the afternoon. We got some great news! They received the results of her head scan and there is no evidence of bleeding or hemmoraging!! She does have small choroid cysts, but Dr. Omar said that many newborns have those and it is nothing for us to worry about. I also looked up choroid cysts in my preemie book and they said that they are insignificant. That was such a big relief for us. They will do another head scan after several weeks, but for now she is doing great.

Also, her bilirubin number went down and she is no longer under the lamp! Her isolette is once again covered up to keep it nice and dark so she can sleep. She didn't have her sunglasses on, so I got to see her beautiful face.

They are once again increasing her breast milk to 6cc every 3 hours. They have been pulling out zero residual meaning that she is eating all of the breast milk!

When we were there, she was resting so peacefully. She was kind of resting on her left side. She was moving all of her fingers and toes as if she was dreaming. She even opened her eyes while we were there. I think she waved at me.

Dr. Omar was not concerned about her weight gain. They feel that it had something to do with her transfusion and plus she is getting back up to near her birth weight. She is peeing and pooping with no problem and not puffy, so she doesn't show signs of retaining fluid.

They have also been measuring her abdomen to check for signs of NEC, the digestive disease. She has been at a steady 18cm, so that is a great sign.

Well, I may have a little more to report later. Bob and Grandma Klinger just left to visit Megan.

Not much to report back! Megan was resting when they visited. She is doing so well with her breastmilk and has zero residual. I'll be anxious to hear about my baby girl at my morning check in!

July 9th, 2007

I have actually caught up in my blog. I started this journal early this morning because Megan has so many supporters that want to see how she is doing. Again, I want to thank everyone for their support. There are no words that can describe how much it means to Bob and I. We know that we are not alone in this journey.

I called early this morning to see how Megan did last night. She slept very well and was resting when I called. She had no problem with the increased breast milk and still did not have any residual. They were expecting to give her a blood transfusion today to replace some of the blood that they have taken for testing. Her red blood cell count is down to 30. Bob donated blood when she was born for his baby girl. She is also scheduled to have her second head scan today and also have a PICC line put in. Her bilirubin has gone down again and is now at 2.1. I noticed on her chart that her weight is down to 1 lb 10 oz as of yesterday, but she didn't lose any weight today. They believe that she may have bottomed out and is ready to gain!

Bob and I went in to see Megan around lunch. The nurse explained the PICC line to us. As long as it is put in successfully, it will significantly decrease the number of times that she needs to be pricked by needles becuse this IV lasts longer than a normal IV. It is run through a big vein in her arm or leg.

The best news of the day - she pooped! Megan had her first dirty diaper! YAY! I wish I could have seen it, but I was so glad to hear the big news!

We also got another picture of Megan without her ventilator. The little wild girl actually pulled our her own ventilator. In the picture, her eyes are wide open and it is sooo cute!

While we were visiting, the nurse changed her diaper, took her temperature, measured her stomach and listened to her breathing. They measured her stomach to check for any signs of NEC, a digestive disease. For the past three days, her stomach has been measuring at 18 1/2 cm which is a positive sign that her digestive system is functioning properly. Overall we had a great visit! They were planning on installing the PICC line shortly, so we told her we loved her and left.

We checked in later that evening and found out that her PICC line went in successfully so far and she also got her head scan. We are very anxious to hear about the head scan! She also received her blood transfusion and took it very well. It means so much to Bob that he was able to help her by donating blood! The nurse said that she is having a good night and is now just resting. She had quite a bit done today and tolerated everything well.

My first day home went by quickly. I have found that my day was consumed by pumping and resting. I did a little too much today on my feet, so I'm pretty sure that I'm paying for it. I'm hoping that it will be better after a good night's sleep.

Time to pump and go to sleep!

July 8th, 2007


Today I am being discharged, without my baby girl. That is not at all how I pictured it happening. I feel jealous when I make my track to NICU and pass the nursery of all the full term babies. I see them wheeling their babies into their rooms where they can feed them, hug them, kiss them and hold them. I have to walk into a room, wash my hands for two minutes and look at my Megan through window of her isolette while listening to the hum of her machines.

Luckily, the doctors allowed me to "nest-in" where I could stay in my room for a few extra days. That gave me more time to be close to Megan. Plus the hospital food is not that bad :)

We talked to her doctor and got the results of the head scan. Something small did show on the scan. Dr. Omar said it could be a blip from the scan, small bleed or a cyst. Fortunately, we didn't see anything distinctive that could be a level 3 or 4 bleed which is great news. If it is a small bleed, it could be a 1 or 2 bleed which is classified as mild. The nurse said that many times, a small bleed is just absorbed by the brain or can be treated with medication. He will repeat the scan on Monday or Tuesday just to confirm. They will probably do few more scans before her release. We are so comforted about the dr's dedication to her recovery.

I am anxious to hear the results of her next scan and pray and pray that it is okay.

She had slept peacefully again and actually had a pretty uneventful day! We had a few visitors. Every time we checked on her, she was just resting peacefully and stable! The nurses said that was ideal because we just want her to rest and grow just as she would have inside the womb. They increased her breast milk again to 3 cc every 3 hours! YAY!!! They have not been pulling out any residual from the breast milk, so she is taking it all in!

We got our first pictures of her - she is so beautiful! She had opened her eyes a bit and we see these little blue eyes. We spent time studying her features to see what she may have gotten from Mom and Dad. We quickly got copies of the pictures and circulated them around the family.

Her blood gas tests have been good. They check for the levels of oxygen, carbon dioxide and acid in her blood. It will let the nurses know if her ventilator needs to be adjusted.

We are now waiting for her first dirty diaper! She actually had a "smear" today, so they expect to see one soon. That would be a great sign! The nurse gave her a stool softener to help. She is still peeing up a storm.

I went home around 4pm. It was hard to leave. However, I was already thinking of what I can do at home to keep myself busy. In the next two weeks, I knew that I would spend most of the time in bed trying to recover. My discharge instructions stated no driving for 2 weeks, no lifting above 10 lbs, no sitting or standing for long periods of time and restricted use of stairs. Plus, we had some shopping to do considering we weren't expecting Megan for another 3 months!

We called to check on her a few times that evening to hear that she was doing well and just hanging out. We continued with our pumping schedule of every two hours and updates for family and friends.

July 7th, 2007

I checked with NICU as soon as I woke up and was overjoyed to hear that Megan rested peacefully all night and maintained her body temperature. She took the breast milk well and they will be increasing her dose to 2 cc every 3 hours. They also decreased her ventilator and she was receiving less assistance from the machine and breathing more on her own - great news! That completely lifted my spirits after the rough experience yesterday.

We spoke to her neonatal dr during our morning visit. They did increase her breast milk to 2 cc every 3 hours. They also decreased her ventilator to 25% which means that she is doing 75% of her breathing on her own! All along she has been breathing the same air that we breathe, no oxygen unless needed. He had looked at her 3rd echo and said he was please with the results. Her valve was just about closed and they were just going to give her one more dose of medicine which should take care of it!

We saw that she had an extra diaper underneath her own and found out that she is consistently peeing through her diaper :) She has great working kidneys!

The night before she had a blood test and they said it came back negative, so she was taken off the antibiotics. Yay - one less IV!

The dr also let us know that they would be doing her head scan tonight to check for bleeding in the brain. The results would take approximately 24 hours, so we should be able to hear back tomorrow. Her bilirubin is starting to go down.

She did lose 1.5 oz. The dr did tell us to expect her to lose a bit of weight before she gains. She is losing some fluids that had originally made her appear a little puffy. He said that it typically gets a little worse before it gets better. It's definitly tough to hear that, but we know that the next 10 weeks will be a roller coaster.

I spoke with my OB GYN and they are unsure what caused my early delivery. I do have a bicornuate or heart-shaped uterus. They believe that is what caused it. I may also have a weak cervix that just dialated on its own. My next pregnancy would most likely result in a premature birth as well. However, there are precautions that they would take to prolong labor as long as possible. Oddly enough, I already look forward to our next child!

July 6th, 2007

I started my morning as usual. Waking up at 6am to pump and then calling NICU to see how Megan is doing. The nurse said that she was doing well and was resting comfortably.

I ordered my breakfast and waited for my support team to arrive.

We then went down to visit Megan. The nurse said that they were going to start her on breast milk! She was just going to get enough to coat her stomach - 2 cc every 6 hours. They would feed it to her through her IV and later extract the contents of her stomach to see if there was any residual. She explained that they were starting Megan on lipids for her to start gaining weight. She was also on a nutritional supplement with electrolytes, vitamins and minerals.

The nurse explained a few terms to me that we may hear over the next few weeks. A D Stat is when her oxygen level dips below the desired 85-100. If that happens, the nurse would give her some oxygen assistance. Although, they would first give her a chance to recover on her own. A Brady is when her heartbeat goes below 70. Then, the nurse explained that they would just give her a tap on the chest to restart her heartbeat. They would become more aggresive if necessary.

The nurse did let me know that she had a slight D Stat earlier in the day, but was able to recover on her own.

Later that morning, I went down to NICU with Bob. As we were walking in, I could hear her machine beeping. I peeked in the window and saw two nurses at her bed. Fear immediately struck me. All I could do is look through the window in the door and pray that she was okay. One nurse was doing something with her tubes, while the other was "bagging her" or manual pumping oxygen. It was extremely difficult to stand there and not be able to do anything.

Once she stabalized, they let us come in to see her. She was doing okay, but was still a little stressed out. Her oxygen levels were still low. It was the first time since her birth that I was truly afraid that she wouldn't make it.

The remainder of the day passed without incident. We had some visitors and more flowers arrive. The flowers and balloons reminded me that I had actually become a mom. I cherished every one and hoped that someday I could show Megan the pictures of all the flowers and balloons that she received.

She had another echo done and they were happy with the results. Her valve was starting to close, but they still gave her the second dose of medication. Her numbers were great for the rest of the day and she rested peacefully.

July 5th, 2007



I am constantly on the phone, updating family and friends about Megan. Everyone is wishing us well and keeping Megan in their thoughts and prayers. We can't thank everyone enough for their support!

Today Megan started her treatment for jaundice. She was put under the lamp with her "sunglasses" on. So far, she is maintaining a good heartbeat, oxygen level and blood pressure level.

She had her first echo done. There is a valve in a baby's heart that is open while in the womb. Preemies have not had a chance yet to close the valve. She was give her first dose of medication to close the valve.

I started pumping breast milk last Wednesday night. The nurse stressed how my breast milk would be like medication for her. Because I gave birth to a preemie, I have nutrients in my milk that are different from those of a full term mother's milk. I was very eager to do anything I could for Megan.

I visited the NICU several times to see her. She was doing well each time. She was still kicking and punching. She even will open her eyes at times! Even so small - she is the most beautiful baby that I have ever seen!

July 4th, 2007

This is the beginning of the story of Megan Lyn Foster. Many of you reading this blog are family and friends who want the latest updates of our little miracle. I hope there are others who are parents of preemies that are just looking for support. My name is Susie and my husband's name is Bob. This is the story of our daughter, Megan Lyn.

I was rushed to the hospital on July 3rd, 2007, because I was already 3 cm dialated. I had not experienced any contractions or signs of labor, she was just getting ready to come out! I was given medication to stop any contractions and put on strict bed rest in the hospital. As a precaution, I was given steriods to develop the baby's lungs just in case of an early delivery. We were told that either the cervix would close itself or I would be transported to Pittsburgh to have my cervix stitched. Either way, they were stopping the labor.

The next day, July 4th, I experienced some heavy bleeding and was checked again by the nurse. We were shocked to discover that I was now 5-6 cm dialated and the baby was ready to come out. To avoid my water breaking, I was immediately rushed for a c-section. I was given another shot of steroids as about 5-6 doctors flooded the room, asking questions. She was breeched at the time and very close to the birth canal. After a whirlwind 5 minutes, my husband was given a few precious seconds to kiss me good bye before I was wheeled into the OR.

Inside the operating room, all of the doctors moved quickly and efficiently to prepare for the surgery. I remember one doctor speaking softly to me, letting me know that I have the best doctors in this one room that are here to care for me and my baby. Seconds later, I was put under general anesthesia.

I awoke around 12:30pm, a new mother. My baby girl, Megan, was born at 11:47am at a gestational age of 25 weeks and 4 days. She was 1 lb, 15 oz. I didn't get to see her first seconds in this world. I didn't get to hold her close to me and tell her how much I love her. I didn't get to see my husband's face the first time he saw his daughter. It all felt like a nightmare that was happening to someone else.

Luckily, the neonatal nurses grabbed my husband as they were rushing Megan to the NICU. He was able to see our baby girl with her eyes open, kicking and punching the air. The nurses that assisted in the delivery said that we should nickname her Rocky because she came out kicking and punching!

That day, Megan was put on the ventilator and hooked up to the many IV's and sensors that will support her over the upcoming weeks. She started off well on the ventilator as she was soon able to breath the same air we breathe with assistance. Her heartbeat remained strong and her blood pressure level was stable.

We were told that she would go through a number of tests: an echo done on her heart, a head scan to check for any bleeding in the brain and numerous blood tests. She was going to be in the NICU for at least 10 weeks before she could come home with us. I may have the opportunity to hold my baby girl for the first time in about 10-14 days.

It was 9pm when my husband could finally wheel me down to see my daughter for the first time. I don't think I could ever find the words to describe how beautiful and precious this baby was. I could see past all the IV's, wires and sensors to my little Megan. The nurse open the door on the side of her isolette so I could gently touch her leg. She then opened her eyes. The feeling was incredible! She was so small and delicate, but yet looked just as I imagined she would. She had perfect fingers, feet, toes, an adorable nose, tiny ears and even some hair! She was kicking and punching in the air. The nurse said she was a very active baby! Bob and I stayed there for only a short time to admire our little girl while knowing we were in for a roller coaster.